My Life Philosophy

      One of the things that I believe sets me aside from most people is that, at a fairly early age, maybe while in high school, I decided that one of the worst things that can happen to people is to be on their deathbeds, look back over their lives and think “I wish I would have,” or “I wish I would not have.”  And, I am gratified to say, I will not be in that position.  I have consciously tried to take advantage of my opportunities as they have arisen and, when possible, have consciously tried to avoid things that I will later wish I had not spent the time doing.  I have also learned from my father – one of my true lifelong heroes – that if you treat people well, they will almost certainly treat you well in return.  And, besides, it feels good to treat people well regardless of their status in life.  In that regard, my mother once told the story that one time she accompanied my father, who was a federal trial court judge, on a tour of Lompoc Federal Prison Central California.  During their visit there happened to be a talent show that was being presented by some of the inmates, which they attended.  So before the show started they were sitting in the first row, with the warden next to my father, who was next to my mother, who was sitting next to an inmate.  The inmate started a conversation by saying: “Mrs. Gray, you probably don’t know this, but your husband tried my case and sentenced me to be here by giving me a maximum sentence.”  Whereupon my mother started leaning more in the direction of my father.  The inmate continued by saying that “But Judge Gray treated me with such respect and decency during the trial that I consider him to be the finest judge I ever appeared before.  And I have appeared before lots of judges!”

      I openly acknowledged my good fortune by writing in the preface of my book on judging that “The best decision I have ever made in my life was choosing my parents.”  And it is true.  Of course I could have been born to a single mother with AIDS in Nigeria but, through no fault of mine, I was born to two loving, caring, interesting and boundary-setting parents.  But I also think that has given me a moral obligation to help those people who did not “choose” quite so well.  And that pretty much has run my life.  So what is the most important thing in life?  (About as general a question as I can think of.)  My answer is not worldly success, making lots of money, or achieving status or fame – it is gratification.  That would come from looking back over your life with the belief that the world is a somewhat better place because you spent you God-given time here.  That is the best feeling.  So enjoy your time you have on earth or, as I frequently say, “Life is Good!”  In fact, the real tragedy in my life is that my sister and brother-in-law’s eldest child, Laurie, died of a malignant brain tumor at the age of 24.  Why Laurie?  She had the same genes as we do, drank the same water, breathed the same air, why Laurie?  The answer is that life can be fickle, but we all should focus upon trying to enjoy our lives while we have them.  Yes, plan for the future, but always attempt to enjoy the present.  Treat your family and other people well; help mentor our youth; give honest encouragement to our fellow humans along the way; and leave the world a better place because you were here.  And frequently say and remember that “Life is Good!”

Another quote from the “Accurate Observations on Politics” Department:  “Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession, but I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first.”  Ronald Reagan